legacies in water

name them, one by one, 

the many who float in the sea, 

legacies strewn across the internet like debris in a fishing net, 

words and images, achievements and accolades bob up and down everyday,

they bounce along, 

awash with that ever-present smell-taste which taints the air and our whole existence,

you’re there too,

by the water,

and you see final things spoken and posted, 

a tour date, a speaking engagement.

for some, it was a cryptic last statement, 

decodable only to those close enough to decipher what they meant,

or might mean...

friends weren’t sure, 

so they just pushed the thought. 

or sent a text to see if they were okay;

feeling nauseous after not hearing back for a few days,

their eyes finally glazed over and every wind of breath escaped their chest, 

and were sent into excruciating madness,

their mouth swarmed with sick at the news,

and throat coiled shut,

tears streamed and streamed, 

they called, they screamed,

they called to them from the land of the living,

for some, their last breath wasn’t their decision,

caught in the net of men,

they flapped like fish gasping for air,

writhing in pain and fear,

they drifted into the realm of the dead.

Something eerie must have descended in those last moments,

a harsh insight into the collapsing fragility of life,

eyes locked into the embrace of death,

whilst fighting with every bit of strength to refuse the

forceful and bitter taste of what it means to be utterly worthless,

meanwhile, a fountain of bile overflows in proud hearts allied to a flag of violence,

to a seared conscience.

something eerie lingers with us this side of the divide,

the aftermath of death rolls through like a tenacious torrent, 

and I find myself strangely submerged in the internet current, 

giant hands break through the surface above, 

plunging the water for answers

condolences and tributes pour,

questions and petitions surge,

I close my eyes and this time,

I’m not filled with hope,

I’ve got no answers for you.

I just am...

I feel to my core the suffocating suffering of this murky water.